Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
