She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
