Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
