On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
try to milk me bitch
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