does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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