someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize