I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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