So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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