You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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