Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
