We named our party play list daddy issues
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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