I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
