? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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