why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
A bitchslap is in order.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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