me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
