I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
A bitchslap is in order.
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