Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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