Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Green mimosas i think yes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
