JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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