i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize