tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
