Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
