Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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