Hey man sorry I got all grabby
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
