he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
