I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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