U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
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