also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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