I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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