hell yes lets make some ravioli
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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