On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
