drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
