dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
