I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
