What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
