two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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