We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
not ubering you a puppy
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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