What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
