I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
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NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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