Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
