He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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