Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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