he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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