this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think my moral compass just broke
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
