YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
