butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
