I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.