why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.