I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize