just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
