You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize