Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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