JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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