physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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