I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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