Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
