How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize