Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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