alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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